Dating after divorce for women with kids: How Do You Make Yourself A Wanted Woman?

Your marriage ended and now you’re a woman looking to date. Maybe a few months have passed since your divorce went through, maybe more time, it matters little. You may be sharing the custody of your children but live separately. However, you have your children and you love them and your main priority, whether you admit it or not is them and their well being.

That’s natural and quite frankly, the norm rather than the exception. Not only in the US but also worldwide married couples choose to live separately while sharing the responsibilities of raising their children. In many ways that’s the better thing to do rather than live in a marriage that doesn’t bring you the happiness or the satisfaction you want.

But of course, there are ways to put yourself out there for dating and for a future relationship and since kids are in your life you better know how to present them to your date. Yes, men are scared of going into a loaded relationship. Men panic at the thought of more responsibilities they haven’t asked for, but, if you know how to PR your story, not only will you get the date that you want, but even achieve a level of acceptance and understanding that you wouldn’t think possible in the beginning.

So here’s a few pointers on how to break the news and how to manage your “woman with children looking for a relationship” story.

1. You are a loving mother, responsible and giving: No point in hiding the fact that you have children, which would be the worst way to handle yourself. Instead, make it a point of pride and strength that you are a mother and a caring, giving person. Yes, you have your children and it is a responsibility you cherish and won’t belittle, and so the man you’re dating should be lucky to be in your presence.

2. But you’re also a woman that men would be happy to be with: Indeed we all play different roles in our lives, but your date needs to understand that you can be a woman in need of a man, just like any other women with or without children. Try to emphasize what you’re looking for in a man, and try to make your date see that you’re not just a mother, you can be a woman that can be devoted to a man as well. You can show this by flirting, by remembering to engage with your date in a way that a single woman would. Show that you can be a mother and a person in a relationship, dedicated to making that relationship work.

3. You’re not looking for someone to raise your children with: It may sound cruel or false, but in order to get the attention of a man you have to put it out there: You are not looking for someone for your children, you are looking for someone for yourself. As far as your dating goes, it is all about you and not about your children. A man needs to know that he is the focus of your date and not your children, so always keep that in mind.

4. Your children are very important to you but they’re not the only thing in your life: During your dates remember not to discuss your children exclusively. Engage your date with details about your work, your hobbies, your life outside your children. A man has to see that he isn’t drawn into a relationship where he will be a marginal afterthought, but that he will have a central and important role to play aside you. Therefore, even if your children are important they won’t be your exclusive concern.

5. Don’t turn a date into a therapy session: We all have our problems, men and women alike, but laying it all bare during a date, while honest and selfless can also be very scary for men. So, try to keep therapy like conversation for the proper setting. Remember, it’s a date so it should go on as a date, civilized, honest but never brutally honest. Think of your dates as ways to escape from your problems; you can be sure that your date partner is also not sharing some of his more serious problems with you.

What it all comes down to is letting your partner know that you’re interested in a relationship in which the children won’t play the central role. A man wants a woman for himself as well, so make sure you make that clear, that you understand and cherish that. You are not looking for a nanny or a shoulder to cry on when raising children gets tough, you are looking for a man to build a relationship with, and, even if you have your children, that doesn’t mean that you’re nothing but a mother. Nope, you are just as much a woman looking for a relationship, and in some respects even more so that kind of woman than someone who doesn’t known the responsibilities of raising a child.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *