Dating your coworker: 5 caveats to avoid in order to make it work

You’ve managed to avoid the quandaries of getting to know whether they’re interested in you or just nice, professionally so. You’ve managed to overcome the fear of asking them on a first date, or been asked by them to which you agreed, and that sure was no business lunch, and now you’re thinking of what lies in the near future, how to make it all work, and how to keep the dating from affecting your working relationship or your work, for that matter. Well, it’s been on our mind too, so here’s what we discovered. These tips will help you out whether you’re dating a coworker who’s in the same ranks as you, or whether you’re dating an “underling” or someone in the upper ranks, boy or girl, just the same.

1. Try avoiding talking work while on dates:

This is especially important for those whose dates are under their own professional rank, especially if they’re responsible for their output. But no matter how you’re ranked, talking about work while not at work can feel like extended work hours. Yeah, don’t pretend that you’re not working together either, but don’t make it all about that. Dating is all about finding out what the other party is all about, and you already know, maybe to some detail what it is that they’re doing. Time to find out what they’re like outside of the job. Find other common grounds and keep exploring these

2. Making it public that you’re dating can be a double edged sword:

Some would tell you to go all out and announce your newly found interest in each other, but remember that is not always the best thing to do. On one hand, whether they’ll admit it or not, your colleagues will look differently at you, be more prone to intrude and to make it harder on you. So think it carefully. It’s much better to keep it your little secret for a while, at least until you know what your relationship will turn out to be like and how much you’re interested in a serious, committed relationship. For boss to underling relationships this can be even more dramatic, as it will be seen as a reason for favoritism, and favoritism will be seen by others, even if it is not there, to begin with. So be calculated and refractory to share your dating, as it might backfire.

3. Try not to get your work be affected by your dating:

You’ll be lucky if you work for the same company but don’t really have to see much of each other. However, for the most coworkers, professional meddling in one another’s output will be most likely. If your work requires objectivity from one another, make it so. Do allow your chemistry to better the workflow and the business at hand but try not to make use of it only to your date. If it’s a good mood, share it equally to everyone else. And, just to stay on top of things, avoid physical contact. Yep, it would be nice, and you know it, but that will surely attract some curious stares which aren’t always the most understanding and compassionate. Nope, don’t take bathroom breaks together, even if they are genuine bathroom breaks!

4. What if we decide to go steady?

At this point, it might be unavoidable to break the news with coworkers. However, take the time to check your contracts or the history of previous employees who ended up together, partners or married. Were they discriminated against? Had the firm shown any signs of being biased towards them? If that is the case, while we would advice you, in all honesty to try and find a more normal place to work, what you should do is keep it to yourselves even further, if you care so much for your jobs there. However, if you’re working in a normal, equilibrated company, then you can break it to your close coworker friends and they will break it out even further. Other than that don’t think this is a certificate to go full blown PDA (public acts of affection) or to call one another names. You should display no different a behavior than before.

5. What if it ends?

If it ends, take closure that you got to know more about your coworker but don’t act colder towards them either, and in the carrying out of your actual professional relationships, act maturely and elegantly towards each other. You took the dating risk and it didn’t go that well, but you’ve got your jobs and you have to make them work. You don’t need to break it to your colleagues either, but if it gets known, admit to it while showing no sign that this has negatively impacted your working relationship.

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