It would seem that amongst divorcees, men with kids face the rather more strenuous challenge of finding someone to date and build a relationship with. It’s a given that women prefer men without children if given the option, however, there are ways to navigate the situation and make the most out of it. Certainly, presenting your situation in a manner that is both honest but sheds a positive light on you is the way to go. So, let’s look at ways to PR yourself and build on top of your “divorced with kids” rather than approach it in a negative manner.
The following tips will help you build an image for yourself that is positive and engaging to women who want to date, while avoiding the caveats of the “divorced with children” negative image.
1. I’m a responsible and caring male figure: This is the angle to put out there when it comes to setting up an online dating profile or even in your regular dating. You have to be honest about the fact that you have children and that you care for them. You are the type of man who can take up a challenge, who takes care of his own and doesn’t take a step back from responsibility. Women will appreciate your straightforwardness, your unflinching position and the fact that you take life for what it is rather than trying to hide from the realities that life presents.
2. I know how to take care of the people in my life: Women, empowered women, or even women who look for financial support from a man want a strong male figure. And one way in which a man’s strength shown is in taking care of his family and friends as well as women who are in a relationship with that man. A man with kids is a man who doesn’t look for short term gratification, for so-so relationships, a man with kids is the real deal that provides and cares for the people in his life.
3. I can raise my kids on my own so I won’t put any pressure on you: You have to make it clear that your dating is not just another way to secure a nanny, someone to help you raise your kids. You will make it clear to your dates that you are your own man, capable of taking care of your children related responsibilities. You don’t look for a nanny, or a mother figure for your children, you look for someone for yourself.
4. Children can also be fun and an added joy for a new relationship: Women love children, whether their own or even others. But they are less prone to admitting it since they may think that you’re looking to place the burden on the women. Show that you are in control and that you don’t look for a prop to help you, but rather for someone to share the joy of children with
5. Your children are important but they are not the only thing in your life: Yes, you are a responsible father and a man to put one’s faith in, but your life doesn’t end with your children. Show your date that you’re passionate about your work, about your hobbies and friends, and anything else you enjoy in life. A woman needs to know that you are going to have a place in your life for her, even as soon as your first few dates. Women love a man that is socially connected, loves his job and has enthusiasm for life and wants to share that with others.
Dating for men with children can be even more rewarding and can lead to a serious and committed relationship even more so than a recently divorced man. You have to play your strengths right though, and highlight your responsibility, dedication but also show that you’re a fun man to be around. No, children don’t have to be a dating issue, they can be used to further your dating, but, make sure you pain the proper picture of what your life is. Sure, there are problems, and indeed, you have a busy and stressful life, but every single man and woman lives through it every day. The only difference is the attitude that you present your date with and the kind of life you present your date with, should that be the relationship to go for.
Thus, spin your story in such a way as to make what would otherwise be considered faults and less than favorable points into your strengths. This can lead to you finding better dates, women who are more mature and also more inclined to date a man with children, and lead to better overall dates and possible future relationships.